Thursday, February 12, 2009


I'm just sick to my stomach, my head hurts and I can't even fathom the thought that no one will listen to me. I have been writing letters to the President, Governor, Senator, Congresman, etc.... The only response I got was some stupid generic auto reply saying that if my inquiry required a response they would get back to me. Really???? Guess What? Not one person replied. Not the news, the president, Governor, etc.... I'm done. I've lost my faith in a system that is supposed to be there for us the people. In the Declaration of Independence it states "We the People" Whatever. Where do we fit into that mix? You only count if you have money or you are part of "Big Oil" Someone like me is better off gone in their eyes. It just makes me sick to my stomach.
I'm trying to raise money for my trip back east and I'm trying to find out why my head is non-stop hurting. I want my life back. I want to be me again. I don't know how many people out there can handle pain in their head everyday like this. I see spots I'm dizzy I just want it to go away. I want it to stop. The worst part is that the more it hurts the more pain killers I take. I wait until the last possible moment but I feel like I'm living on them. How is that right? I hate being drugged up all the time but I hate that my head hurts so much. The more this vicious cycle happens the more the depression sets in. Wow!!! I wish they never diagnosed me. I wish I never went to the doctors. I wish I just lived my life fully until one day when BAM that was it. I wouldn't even have known what hit me.
I'm tired of this and I'm thinking that either I have tumors growing or that my meds are all screwed up. Something is causing my head to hurt and all of the other symptoms to increase. Something has changed. I need to figure all of this out.
I just needed to vent. I'm so tired. I only get about two hours of sleep a night and my head has been hurting 24/7. I look like I've been hit by a MAC truck. I'm just so tired. I just want it all to go away. I want my mom to hug me and hold me and tell me everything is going to be OK. I need her right now.

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