Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Surgery went well

I had my surgery on 8/25/08. It was 7 hours of hell for my family and friends but I really don't remember any of it. I am still recovering and taking it one day at a time.
Things I had to deal with after surgery:
Noisy ICU
Still wasn't sleeping
Swelling of my face and body from steroids
Wasn't able to walk well
49 staples to my head
Once home from the hospital....
I had pain and lack of sleep from rolling onto incision site
One major migraine which put me in the hospital
Slight depression due to the fact that I am stuck in this house
Can't seem to do anything without being tired
I have a hard time focusing on the computer and TV.
I can't read a book yet and this sucks!!!!!

So, I'm a little down on myself. I should be looking at it like Holy Shit! I just survived brain surgery. I should be thanking my lucky stars...which I do but why do I feel so down? I can't seem to figure it out.
All is going good. I got my staples out and nearly broke Derek's finger doing it. I am off nearly all my meds except for the occasional pain med. I think they are going to put me back on Topomax for the migraines though.
I got a letter from SSI stating that I was denied benefits due to the fact that I didn't apply for them. Hmmmmmm, my appointment isn't until September 23rd and they are supposed to help me fill out the forms then. How can I be denied for this.
I'm just full of so much emotion right now. I cry at everything and don't know why. I can't sleep right or eat right. I'm even having to force myself to smile.... I just want to be normal and back to my old self.

I've always been able to get myself out of this funk but it feels as if this is going to take some work. I hope it ends soon. Sorry I'm not my normal upbeat self but I strive to be there soon. I just need to vent and this is the only way I can seem to do it.

I am thankful for my wonderful surgery and quick recovery. I am also very thankful for my family and friends. Everyone has been so quick to help me out and put my care top on their list. I am really thankful that I survived and that everything went so well. I am thankful to be alive.....

1 comment:

Tumor Girl said...

Glad to find your blog, it does help to write it all down! I just wanted to comment on your remark about the noisy ICU, I totally agree! One would think that ICU would be a quiet place seeing as how everyone is recovering from something major, but no it was the noisier than I ever could have imagined! And the first time I was in there they didn't tell me where my call button was and I remember trying to yell for help because my head was incredibly itchy and no one could hear me because it was so noisy and I couldn't yell that loud due to the intibation tube used during the surgery! So glad its all over! Glad you made it too!