Most people think of Brain Tumors as "holy crap". This is just under that I think. I'm not a writer by any means but I feel the need to get my thoughts on this out. This is my Journey.
In January 2007 I noticed that the left side of my face went numb. It was like I went to the dentist and got a shot of Novocain. I called my doctor and made an appointment. I ended up canceling this appointment due to my sons illness. I put my own health on hold so that I could concentrate on my sons surgeries. The numbness never went away and I started to think that, maybe, it was a tooth gone bad.
I went to the dentist and got a root canal, no Novocaine. I was that numb. The dentist was shocked but worked with me. He wanted to see how far I could go before I could feel pain. It wasn't until he actually reached the nerve that I made him give me a shot. WOW! This was the end of February.
In March, my son had his final surgery to get the last piece of stone out and we were in the home stretch. I started drooling, tripping, falling and walking into walls. I was waking up in the middle of the night with debilitating headaches and was very disoriented. Things were starting to progress so I made, yet, another appointment.
In April I had to reschedule this appointment because we made another emergency trip for my son. Turned out to be just a bladder infection this time but scary none the less. I got him home and helped him get better. We had 6 more appointments for him but I wasn't going to reschedule my appointment anymore.
Symptoms at this point:
*Slight Memory Loss
I finally made it to the doctors on May 8th 2007. He thought I had Bells Palsy and sent me for a MRI to confirm. I got the MRI on May 19th. The morning of May 20th my doctor called me to say: Kelly, you are an interesting case. You have "spots" on your brain with added lesions all over. I'm referring you to a Neurologist. This is no big deal. We'll probably just want to re-do the MRI in 3 - 6 months.
I'm thinking "OK, No big deal I can handle this"
I went to the Neurologist on June 5th only to find out that I have TUMORS. She pulls up my MRI scan and shows me. She kept pointing and saying "Tumor, this is tumor, this is another tumor, tumor, and another one over here" I was in shock. At that point it was like I was out of my body and looking down on myself. I wanted to smack myself and say "snap out of it" I had questions to ask.
She referred me to a Neurosurgeon. Yet another doctor. I now have three that I see on a regular basis.
I cried for a week. I took this as my death sentence, at first. I researched everything I could on the web, big mistake. I don't recommend looking into this because the web will give you worst case scenario. I am a mother of two young boys, the wife of a trucker and a full time employee. I need to be healthy to do all of these things.
I now have doctors appointments and tests on a weekly basis. MRI's, CT scans, X-rays, blood tests, biopsy's...ect...
As of today: July 13th I have 10 Meningioma Brain Tumors with added lesions throughout. I see my neurologist once a month and will see my Neurosurgeon in September. I don't have any surgery scheduled yet which is good. I do have a repeat MRI and a CT scan this month as well. I am on whats called Watch and Wait.
I am a 33 year old woman. I have goals and dreams most of which include my family. I have an incredible support system with my friends and family and a new website I found called Meningiomamommas.org.
Everything in life comes down to a choice. I chose to live. I chose to fight. I chose to be me.
To Live is a gift and every ordinary moment is extraordinary when seen through the eyes of the heart. I am writing this blog for me and anyone else who wants to read it. Some days are harder than others but it's the choice I make to stay positive and keep smiling. The tears will still fall from time to time and I'm sure that I will get angry too. All of these are normal feeling when faced with such a terrifying situation.
May 22, 2009
9 years ago