I'm not sure why other than I'm scared and I don't like that no one really knows what this is. Yes, I have brain tumors! Yes, I have Neurofibromatosis Type 2! Yes, I am a mom...desperate to continue helping her family to grow.
I feel like I need to do something to help ease the burden now placed in Derek's hands. He is taking on so much and I don't want him to feel alone. I'm so worried about him and the boys. Derek is working local today to make some extra money. With me not working the bills are piling up and no means to pay all of them. We, in one day, lost half our income. Crap!!!! I feel like it's all my fault but I know it's not. I didn't ask for this. No one asks for a brain tumor...let alone a bunch of them. If I could only find a way to make money without hurting myself or straining myself too much. The main reason they took me off work was because of my new found balance issues and my slight hearing loss. I was also experiencing bouts of fatigue that were debilitating to say the least. I have trouble forming my words and it just sucks...OK pity party OVER!!!
After surgery I will recover and everything will be fine. It's just the waiting game for now. I'm not sure where to turn or who to talk to to help us out with the immediate problems. We are receiving help from friends and family, don't get me wrong. I am very appreciative of everything that people are doing for us and plan on paying it forward as this is and will always be my motto in life. I think that's why I contacted the News.
I want there to be awareness on this side of the country. I want there to be help for people who are going through this like my family. What about the single mom who is the sole support for her kids and gets diagnosed. Who does she turn to for help? What about the family who struggles just to make ends meet and then loses everything because of a diagnosis on a single day. One day, one moment, one second, can change your life forever.
Now, it may seem like I am dwelling on all of this but really I think I'm finding a higher purpose to my life. A fresh, new start to do something to help others. I really want to help others. I want to help pave the road for the next person in my shoes.
I wonder if we could get a celebrity spokes person to help us raise awareness and money to help find a cure and financial aid for families in need.
As of today....The medical bills equal the cost of a small house. This is after the insurance paid their part. Scary stuff. I will keep trying and keep moving forward as this is my mission. I will strive to raise awareness for the West Coast Meningioma Project. Not sure how but it all starts with one voice.
May 22, 2009
9 years ago